Every morning I wake up before the sun rises and after the initial struggle to free myself from the clutches of that half-slumber state, as I climb from my bed I say to myself, “Ah yess. Today is the day I’m gona be better.” I’m gona do better and be that better person with a better life that I always intended on being. My mind becomes flooded with innovative ideas and all the ways that I can become this other better person. However, by the time I’ve had my hour drive to work, there I go again back into the old habits of my boring, monotonous, mundane life. I sit here thinking about all the things wrong with me and why it’s so hard to accomplish the things I want. This is what I came up with:
I could do it now…. but I really just want to sit here on WordPress reading all these wonderful posts. Then I could go on pinterest and spend almost an hour pinning projects that I’ll never do. Then I’ll check my email and go on youtube and get carried away. I’ll just do the thing tomorrow.
2. I’m a lazy person.
Making a change is just too much darn work. Maybe if I go on Pinterest I’ll find some ways to do the thing faster and easier.
3. I’m afraid of change.
Even though I say that I’m not. The thing is, when you’re in your comfort zone, crawling out of that can be the hardest thing you do. Yes you can find yourself somewhere a whole lot better, but it can also be a whole lot worse. Why take that risk??
4. I need something to beat myself up about.
That angst ridden 90s teen still lives inside of me. Being angry with the world for the things that I can’t have and couldn’t achieve seems like a reasonable outlet. What else is there to blame? The world is unfair and this is my life.
As I publish this post, I’ll go back to work… the boring monotonous lake of life that I’m slowly drowning myself in. And this little burst of inspiration, the ache of desire to be a better person, it will fade away….